I Think I Love My Wife
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Just kidding.
I know I love my wife (by the way this has nothing to do with the Chris Rock movie).
And although this can sound cliché, I can honestly say that I love her way more than I did when I asked her to marry me, and when I married her, and when we had our first kid, and our second kid, and our third, fourth…
Not only do I love her but I know she loves me. We are in a better place now than ever before. We understand each other better, know each other better, support each other better, and open up to each other better.
But that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and hollandaise sauce.
We get into arguments. We get frustrated with each other. We yell (I yell). We walk away from each other (she walks away). We don’t very well like each other sometimes. We don’t always want to hug. We don’t always want to kiss.
And even though those bad times happen less than they used to (because boy did they used to), they still happen. And that’s okay.
But the thing is, is that my wife can be selfish. She wants things done her way – the laundry, the dishes, where things are put, how the kids are raised, etc. She makes the food she wants and doesn’t like it when I make food my way. She doesn’t try to be affectionate with me in the way that I want. She doesn’t want to spend the little free time we have in the ways I want to. Whatever effort I put into things is never enough.
Now here’s what’s wrong with that: none of that is true. However, when I’m upset with her, when we’re in an argument and I’m feeling all the negative feelings towards her, those thoughts pop in my head and I start believing that to be true. That whatever I’m frustrated with her about, that’s how it always is and I’m always frustrated about that same thing.
It’s amazing how we can allow our feelings to alter our reality. To change what we know to be true.
I think we can often do that with God. God is love and loves perfectly, unconditionally, consistently, and eternally. Yet because of how we feel – whether it’s loneliness, or fear, or anger – we allow that to change what we believe about God. That God isn’t love. That God doesn’t love us. That God isn’t all He’s cracked up to be. That God has abandoned us, or even forsaken us. Even that God doesn’t exist.
That’s where hope comes in. Hope in Christ isn’t a “I hope I go to heaven” or “I hope I get married one day” kind of hope. Hope is a “no matter what happens in my life, no matter what struggles I go through, or what I must endure, I have hope in Christ that in the end, God and His love will endure, and Satan will be ultimately defeated.
No matter how I feel, I need to remember that my feelings can’t change the Truth. But my feelings can affect what I believe, and so I need to be cautious of what thoughts I have when I’m feeling angry, or afraid.
Maybe that’s why it says so often in Scripture to not be afraid – because God knows that fear can affect how we love and how we receive love.
