Overwhelmed
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Not too long ago, I started taking the calling God has for me more seriously (I know, you’re totally impressed). There’s only one problem: I’m not really sure what God’s calling me to exactly (I know, I’m the only one who feels this way). So what I’ve really been doing is asking God more often and more sincerely what His plans are for me – what am I called to do with my life, how am I called to bring Him glory, etc. I know working in youth ministry is doing good works, but is it what He’s calling me to? Or is there something else I’m supposed to do?
I started thinking and praying about the different things God could be calling me to. . . and there’s lots of options. I started getting overwhelmed by the seemingly endless list of possibilities. But God has a specific path for me…right? Or does He have multiple paths for me to choose from? Or is the path He has for me the one I’m going to follow because He already knows all my choices (I’m not saying He’s choosing my path, because we all have free will. I’m just saying He already knows what I’m going to choose, regardless of what I think because He knows everything I’m going to think, so He just knows my choices. Even if it’s something I try to do that’s totally random like BFLADKFJDAKFLSFUieOERJI024ru20rjfieJF KD LJDS_#*_$. He knew I was going to do that. I still had a choice in doing it, but He knew before I did that I’d choose that…this is a really long parenthetical thought btw, so don’t feel bad going back to figure out what my original sentence was)?
Suffice it to say, I started feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Even when I feel like I have reached a conclusion, I still question myself, which can be frustrating. But, I also find solace in knowing that if I continue to earnestly seek out God’s will, that He will guide me. Part of me wonders if the moment I stop wondering because I believe I know what God wants of me, is the moment I stop asking God, and is the moment I start veering off His path because I am no longer concerned with staying on it.
In my men’s group, after some deep philosophical discussion (a.k.a. just talking about whatever), I had a thought that I’m somewhat sticking to (for now): I should focus on what God is calling to me in each present moment instead of worrying too much about the future. Not to say that I shouldn’t work towards a specific future, but that I shouldn’t get too hung up on how to get there, because in doing so, I’m not allowing Christ to live through me to the people I’m in front of. And if I focus on being who God is calling me to be in each moment, I will eventually end up wherever He wants me to be.
Right?
Thank you so much for writing this, I have been feeling very overwhelmed recently about my future and you are right,”I should focus on what God is calling to me in each present moment instead of worrying too much about the future.” I honestly thought I was the only one feeling like this. Hope all is well!
You’re welcome! Glad it could be of help to you!